Too many deep thoughts (in Fort Laudy) to not post...

1. Within 3.5 minutes of touching down in Ft. Lauderdale, I saw:
- a guy pop-locking whilst wearing a shirt that said 'naked is my drug'
- another guy wearing a shirt that had a completely naked woman drinking a beer on the front.
(I am not even kidding)
2. The carpet here is equally as ugly as Orlando's but not nearly as nauseating.
3. I had to go through that crazy scanner  that fries your brain so that the creepy airline security guys can look at us naked. Pretty sure I felt my brain shrink and my pupils dilate.
4. Ate a turkey burger for breakfast. My body said it was lunch.
5. Wall outlets are by far the hottest commodity in Fort Lauderdale airport. In Orlando, they were everywhere, on the wall, in special little kiosks. Here. Nary an outlet. I am currently pilfering from a Newsstand, which I'm sure is illegal. Any minute, I imagine the feds will descend upon me and take me in for racketeering or something like that. I don't even know what racketeering is, but if I ever have to get arrested for a major crime, I want it to be racketeering. It sounds so cool.
6. Over the intercom just now, a man just said 'paging a traveler who may have lost a hat: please return to security.' Really? I think the we just went from yellow to orange on the threat alert. Do they know how many travelers in this airport have hats? Do they know how many security checks there are here??
7. So, apparently, that announcement was enough to arouse concern in some travelers sitting near me. The lady 3 seats down (who is wearing an Angry Birds tshirt that says 'bird is the word' sat up at attention and said, 'a hat? we have a hat! do you have your hat? do you have your hat?' and proceeded to check with all of her fellow travelers to make sure their chapeau's were on their person.
8. I have decided that Duty-Free shops are an evil plot, probably conspired by aliens...or Russians or something like that. There are no items in duty free that I would normally want to purchase and yet, somehow, since they are 'duty free' and 1400 percent off, I want to buy everything in the store. So, if I come back really intoxicated and smelling like perfume, you know they got me.
9. There are manatees on the walls.
10. I just noticed that on the other side of the glass, where people get off their plane, there are millions of outlets. Cuz you know, when I am exiting a plane and being herded like cattle down a narrow hallway towards my bags and destination, the one thing that's on my mind is finding an outlet so I can plug a bunch of stuff in.
- the end. I promise -